The people you meet....

So I said in my first post that I would give a status update on Greg - the 'unique' Brit in my tour group.  This post started as an aside to a post about my trip, but there was so much to say that its turned into a post of its own.

I should start this by saying that the guy turned out to be a really nice, well meaning person.  He may be quite unusual, but his intentions are good and he is a genuinely nice, friendly person.  Its just that he walks a very fine line between completely obnoxious and completely entertaining...100% of the time.

To paint a better picture, I'll try to describe his appearance and mannerisms. He is 22 but seems to have quite a young mind.  He chain smokes, eats terribly and quite possibly has never been to a gym in his life (his boobs are legitimately  bigger than mine, but he is not massively overweight).  He asks 1,000 questions about everything and is generally clueless about life. He has been traveling the world for over a year on family inheritance and seems to have no concept of money as he impulsively just goes wherever he feels like. He is from Dover in Kent in the UK (which he will announce to anyone who will listen) and lives with his mom. He was in Nepal for 3 months before coming here and he apparently has a girlfriend there (his first one) who he plans to go back and marry.

With all that in mind, the following is a list of some of the things he has done and said in the past 10 days that I have known him:

- He has an obsession with the jungle and as such, hired a guide one day to go on a private jungle walk (who didn't speak English). Part way through the walk, he felt a prick on his bottom which progressively got stronger and more painful. He put his hand down his pants to investigate and felt something slimy. He immediately freaked out, dropped his pants and starting yelling. His tour guide turned around to see his bent over bare ass.  God knows what the poor guide was thinking until Greg yelled "LEECH, LEECH, there's a leech on my bum!!" The guide then had to come over and remove the leech from his ass. 

- He asked one of the Irish guys on my tour whether he believes in leprechauns. We think it was a legitimate question.

- We had one day where we were driving over lunch, so we had to either eat before, or bring something along. He did neither and instead got his meal from the gas station. In the course of 10 minutes I watched him consume 2 bags of chips, 2 chocolate bars, a magnum ice cream bar, a can of coke and a cold milo (like Nestle Quik for the Canadians). 

- At breakfast one day he informed us all that he can go with very little food. In Nepal, all they have is rice and a little bit of meat for each meal and he claimed to got used to it.  However at lunch he proceeded to order and eat 2 full meals AND finished off the left overs of someone else.

- The night after we finished the mountain climb, we all kicked back and had a few drinks. Nothing crazy but everyone was feeling pretty good. However, Greg informed us that that was the drunkest he has ever been, as the beer he was drinking was a strong 5% compared to the 3.7% he usually drinks. One night last November he apparently chugged a liter of vodka, but then puked it all up immediately and passed out, and therefore didn't really experience being super drunk.

- According to Greg, March 10 is 'smoke anything you want indoors' day in Nepal. As a result, a few weeks ago (on the 10th) he claims he was offered 'cannabis' by a police officer. This was his first experience with any drug and he freaked out after smoking it and says he will never do it again. However, strangely, he didn't feel any effects from it, nor did it taste like anything...

- He sports an old-school black leather fanny pack/bum bag. As an added bonus, he often wears it under his track pants, so his crotch area looks massive and distorted.

- He turned up on our tour with no mountain gear, despite the fact that the main activity was climbing a mountain.  He didn't have gloves or anything warm, but was saved by the fact that our amazing guide had extra.

- While at the beach in KK, he was approached by a stranger who appeared to know him. When Greg was confused the stranger asked "weren't you at clown school with me in 2009?"

- When he did work, he was a cook at a mental health hospital. Apparently everyone in there was either a pedophile or smoked too much weed. He said the trick was to not look the people in the eyes, or they might attack.

- Mika is his favorite musical act and we all got the privilege of listening to him sing karaoke to "we are golden".

- He doesn't understand the concept of a "happy ending". Either that or he is seriously confused about how to procreate. He was going for a massage and we were joking that he better watch out or they might try up given him a happy ending. He then stated that he wasn't interested in having children in Malaysia. We just left it....didn't want to open that can of worms.

Unfortunately, he is not on Facebook anymore because it was just too complicated to use. Shame really, because I'm sure it would be interesting to see how he goes in the future with his Nepalese wife. I wish him all the best.